March 14, 2016

Week 4: Jacob 6:5

I can't believe it's almost been a MONTH since I entered the field!!! I say it every week, but time is literally flying by. My teacher in the MTC phrased it best: a day feels like a week, and a week feels like a day when you're doin the Lord's work.

Which isn't really a good thing when you try to write your weekly email...I'm sitting here like, "okay...wow...um...what did i even do this week? xD" It all kinda blurs together sometimes to be honest, but a few crazy things have stood out. I'm experiencing so much. Every day brings new challenges and vice versa new blessings.

This past week we visited a less active member, and lemme tell ya, Satan was there. That might sound dramatic, but I could not feel the Spirit AT ALL, and it wasn't because of me. Believe me, I was for real doing some intense praying (in my heart, not out loud, that would have been kinda awkward in the middle of a lesson am I right), but this guy just was not feelin it at all. He has ZERO desire to read his scriptures, pray, go to church, etc. His heart is COMPLETELY closed. He hates the concept of faith, not just in our Church but in religion in general. His parents are very active from what I understand, and we are not the first missionaries he's met with. He knows all about Alma 32 and planting the seed and "crying unto the Lord with all your soul" and yadi yada yada. He served a mission for about 6 months, and throughout that entire time he told us he tried to plant the seed and let it grow and gain a testimony and all the good stuff. But when he failed to receive any kind of answer, he gave up. He came home. He stopped trying.

So, I ask you, how do you help someone who's prayed, who's read his scriptures, but never received any answers? He said he never wants to "go back there" because it only depressed him and put him in a dark place, so that's why he's cut God completely out of his life (which is no bueno--seriously. Not a good idea).

So anyway there I am, sitting across from this guy, and I just feel terrible. I could barely speak. He said he doesn't want to go off faith, he wants physical proof that God is real. Ironically, even if our Father in Heaven just went around showing himself to anyone who asked, why would he show himself to someone who doubts his very existence? Like, hello? Of course he wouldn't! We NEED faith. This is what he doesn't understand. And then he starts talking hullabaloo about how we don't really have agency because God knows what we're going to do, and if he DOESN'T know what we're going to do, then he isn't really all knowing and powerful and thus isn't God. Um....????????!?!?!??!

Suffice it to say, I felt very awkward, and since it was this greenie's first experience with someone like him, I honestly had no idea what to say. Every scripture that came to mind was thrown back into my face before I could even say it.

I don't know what he's been through. I don't know to what extent he's really prayed, if he had that sincere heart and real intent or not. I don't know if he has issues or habits or addictions that have gone unrepented of and unresolved. But I know that his heart is hard, his mind is closed, and that Satan has real power over the hearts and minds of the children of men...but only if we let him. Only if we turn away from God and let our doubts overcome our faith and we give up, we quit trying.

So how do you help someone who despises faith have faith in Jesus Christ????

(Is any of this even making sense? I feel like I'm rambling and all over the place. Only having an hour and a half to write an email is really stressful)

Anyway, so that was intense, and hopefulyl the next time I have an encounter like that, I won't sit there like a brainless potato.

This past weekend I went on exchanges with one of our STLs (sister training leaders), Hermana Lopez, which was super fun, even though naturally 90% of the day we were meeting with hispanics and they were speaking Spanish. Those two years of high school spanish did nothing for me, to say the least, but it was still fun. One lady came out of her house and was like "We're Christian! We're not Mormon! Go away!"

We did not make an appointment with her, unfortunately, but maybe one day she'll figure out the members of The Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter Day Saints are in fact Christian.

Oh! Yesterday two of our wards had ward conference. Guess who taught the Sunday School lesson? That's right. The Holy Ghost. Naturally. I was there too, but it was all Him. I just said things. He did the rest. It was pretty fun. We did an object lesson all about missionary work and how we are all "tools in the hands of the Lord". We had a bucket with a bunch of construction tools in it and so we went over each tool and what it did and I asked the class which tool they thought was the most important when it comes to building a house.

Long story short the whole point in the lesson was that each tool is different, but each tool is important, just like all of us. We are all different, we all have different strengths and talents, but we're all important, and we're all NEEDED, in order to build the Kingdom of God, by reaching out to those around us and testifying of Christ. It was pretty awesome. I kinda went off script and tied in how the foundation of this house we're building (OUR LIVES) need to be built on Christ and our faith in him.

We can build a beautiful house, but if our foundation isn't strong, that house is gonna collapse. Just like our lives will when we're faced with trials and have a weak foundation. If we have faith in Christ, if our lives are BUILT on Christ, then we can endure any pain, any challenge, any grief.

"Remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall."

We CANNOT FALL if our faith and our foundation are built on Jesus Christ!

That's my sermon for the week!

Sadly, we still have no one on date for baptism. Out of all the people we're teaching, only one of them is a non member, and I've extended a baptism commitment twice now, but he still isn't sure. He's said several times that once he KNOWS, he won't hesitate to get baptized. He's even said he'd go to his Pastor and all his friends and family and give them a Book of Mormon and tell them to read it. If you ask me, he already knows. He's already converted. He knows that the Book of Mormon is helping him come closer to Jesus Christ, he's just hesitating to ACT, and still isn't totally sure about the Restoration.

So that's what our lesson with him last night turned out to be. We asked him how he felt when he read the BoM and he said it felt good. We asked him if he was reading every single day and praying about it every single day...he said he wasn't, but he always felt like he should. I told him that was the Holy Ghost's way of trying to get him to read more of the BoM. So we challenged him to act on his desire to know, to know for himself, to really study and ponder and find out for himself whether or not the Book of Mormon is the word of God and Another Testament of Jesus Christ.

We'll see how it goes next Sunday! With any luck, HG's gonna do his thing and we'll have a baptism soon!!!

Overall, what I learned the most this week is the huge difference faith makes in a person's life. When we have faith, when we have that desire to KNOW, the possibilities for us are endless and eternal. We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us!

Stay true to the faith,

Sister Wainwright

March 7, 2016

Week 3: Alma 32:27

Hello, my people!!!

Nobody panic, I'm alive! Our P-Day has been really busy. We went to the temple this morning to do a session, which was awesome, though waiting around for like half an hour afterwards while all the other sister missionaries took 218390849089321 photos again was less awesome, but whatever. Then we went grocery shopping and all that good stuff, but anyway I'm finally online!!! Not really much new to report. We're as busy as ever, driving all over the place and just trying to get in contact with all the elusive YSAs in Utah County! If there's one thing I've learned on my mission, it's that working with members is absolutely essential to the work. The likeliness of the two of us ever running into a nonmember is slim to none, so 99.9% of the people we teach are referrals and less actives. We'd never find any investigators if it weren't for the members. Keep that in mind!!! I've gained such a huge appreciation for ward missionaries, and I've realized the importance of being involved in what the missionaries are doing. We need help, and if WE need help, I KNOW the Sisters and Elders need help and support back home. Members make all the difference in the world when it comes to investigators. Seriously.

Anyway, that's my soap box sermon for the week! Get involved in missionary work! You don't need a name tag to share the gospel. We have friends, family, and neighbors all over the place that could use a spiritual kick in the pants! 

So we're teaching this man from the Dominican Republic and he is a "GOLDEN" investigator, as they say. He's met with missionaries in the past and has a gazillion friends who have all served missions, he's reading his scriptures, praying all the time, going to church, and has a real desire to know the truth, so basically he's doing everything he's supposed to and more! He's just waiting and waiting and waiting for his "answers", so we're trying to help him recognize the Spirit and understand that we get our answers more subtly than we'd maybe like sometimes. He's a really awesome guy. I so wish I spoke Spanish!!!!!!!!!! All of his RM friends served Spanish speaking missions, so half the lesson last night was in Spanish haha. But the Spirit was so strong even though I couldn't understand some of it. It was awesome. We taught him the Restoration, and when we were going over Joseph Smith's vision he laughed and said, "Maybe I just want to see God!" And I was like, "Who doesn't?!" We're meeting with him again tonight, and I'm gonna invite him to be baptized. YOLO. 

It's crazy how quickly time is flying. I can't even remember everything that's happened in the past week! It's just busy busy busy. I had my first Zone Training Meeting, so that happened! ​I also had my very first lesson that went completely by the Spirit, which was AMAZING. We've been meeting with this one guy, Daniel, and helping him get ready to receive his temple recommend, and when we met with him this week, he asked us about what happens after we die and all that, which was sooo not what we had planned, but we had a great discussion with him about the Plan of Salvation nonetheless. Turns out, he has a lot of medical problems, and his mom--HIS MOM--told him that he would probably die young. So understandably he was a little freaked out. I can't believe his own mother would say something like that, but that's none of my business. Anyway, he had a lot of questions about death and what it would be like and all that, so we just went over the PoS and reminded him all about the spirit world and such. It was really great. The Spirit was with us. I love it when you can tell you're really making a difference in someone's life as a missionary. I've been struggling a bit with whether or not we ARE making a difference, and in some cases, depending on who you're teaching, we probably aren't just because they're not invested and don't have that "desire", but in Daniel's case, we definitely ministered to his heart and his needs and gave him the comfort that the gospel truly brings to those who seek to understand and know it!

Anyway, this guy in the library across from me is being really annoying and I can't concentrate or deal with it anymore, so that's it for now folks! Thanks for all your emails. You have no idea how much they mean to me and really make my day! I love all the pictures of Brent Russel! He's getting so big!

​Love y'all,​

Sister Wainwright

February 29, 2016

Week 2: Psalm 27 Verse 1

It's hard to believe an entire month has almost passed since I last saw you all!!! Now that I'm in the field, time is flying by. I know I've said that a lot, but it's true! 

This week has been insane. We worked at the temple (I pretty much have that entire video memorized word for word) which was fun, but I probably gained 50000000 bajillion pounds because the volunteers kept bringing donuts and brownies and cookies and cupcakes and basically every sweet imaginable that makes life worth living. Anyway, the temple was great. One of the days we were working, I had about 3 completely different and random people ask me where I was from because apparently they're related to Wainwrights! None of them were from Florida though, so I doubt we were related. Still cool though. I also had this one guy come up to me after the temple video and ask where I was from because he thought he recognized me. Does anyone remember an Elder Johnson (I think that's what he said  his name was)? He served in Live Oak a while back and actually lived in Uncle Barney's barn/apartment! It really is a small world after all, isn't it.

Speaking of which, I ran into Haley Wright and Cody Smith at the temple too! Which you probably already know since I'm assuming she posted something on Facebook...hopefully I don't look too weird in the picture, I didn't get to see it before they took off. Oh well! It was nice seeing some familiar faces, and of all the video rooms they could have walked in, they walked into mine! 

Anyway, so yeah, the temple was awesome. We met a lot of cool people. One night a General Authority reserved one of the smaller video rooms for his entire family to tour the temple. It was pretty cool. I can't remember his name but I think he may have been an area seventy in Africa or something like that! So that's why I responded so late last p day...we were working all day at the temple, so we had zero time to do anything. Thanks for caring enough to email the mission office though....getting chastised for not emailing my parents wasn't embarrassing at all.

So I was really put through the ringer this past week. We met with Sister Saili's MTC TRC investigator for lunch and she really let me have it. She's a member, a returned missionary,but an Evangelical convert. She apparently has PTSD from her mission. She's been struggling a lot with the church and is super less active, but she knows missionary work. So after eating lunch I, being the greenie, had the privilege of sharing a spiritual thought with her....it did not go well. I picked a scripture where you can replace their name with yours and she immediately said, "I hate when missionaries do that!!!" So from the start you could say she was cramping my style.  Anyway, I plowed on, and in the middle of what I'm saying she just starts shaking her head like crazy and says, "Nope. Try again." After about half an hour of her doing this, and constantly judging and questioning everything I tried to say, I was pretty much sobbing, trying to just bare a simple testimony without her challenging me at every turn. It was the hardest, most frustrating, emotionally traumatizing experience of my life as a missionary thus far. At one point I just said, "Look. I know our Father loves us. If He didn't, if this church wasn't true, there's no way I would have left my family for 18 months to come sit and cry at a table in a gas station pizza joint in Provo Utah."

Suffice it to say, that day she took what little confidence I had and chewed it up, spit it out, set it on fire, and threw it into oncoming traffic. I had never felt so inadequate and horrible at this as I did in that moment. Luckily, I've yet to meet any other investigators or members like her, and with any luck I never will! (*knocks on wood*) I don't think I would have been emotional if she wasn't a returned missionary and acted like she knew every little thing that I was doing wrong. 

​Ugh. It was brutal. 

​I don't think there was anything wrong at all with what I was sharing with her, but apparently I wasn't "ministering to her heart" as much as I was supposed to be.​

​Blegh. ​

Anyway, so that was my learning experience for the week! If I learned anything, it's that you need to listen and 

​seriously ​

minister to the hearts of those you teach, not teach a set lesson. Which I thought I knew how to do already, but apparently not

​??? I think it goes without saying that I am not really looking forward to meeting with her again...don't get me wrong, I want to help her, but helping her is not very fun. ​

​Just gotta keep reminding myself that it probably wasn't very fun for Christ in Gethsemane. 

​So I have officially spoken in sacrament meeting twice in a row now, and after spending all week reading and preparing for a talk, I ended up getting five minutes at the very end. ​I guess that's the Lord's way of telling me to stop relying on a written talk and just get up there and say what He wants me to say. I dunno. So I had to throw out pretty much everything I wanted to say and just go with it. It went well though, I think.Afterward one of the counselors of the YSA ward we were speaking in came up to me and told me he has family in Lake Butler, and a girl in the congregation said she served in the Jacksonville Mission (not in Live Oak though). Neato.

Our last night at the temple, all the veteran sister missionaries wanted to take 3289407859402784219 pictures (even though they've already taken 23875891743218-054-0785489321659078940321 pictures), so that was kinda annoying. Me and another greenie, Sister Brown, got tired of waiting on them, so we snuck into the Temple to see the Bridal Room (we actually had permission from the four fingered security guard Jacob); it was so awesome. The Provo City Center Temple is just beautiful.

All in all this week was good. I'm still alive. So far, serving in Provo has been nothing like I expected...I still don't like being over multiple stakes at all, because I feel like I don't get to really know anybody, so that kinda stinks. It's good practice for talking to random people all the time though, and on the flip side it's kinda nice knowing you'll probably never see them ever again lol.

Keep sending me pictures and emails throughout the week!!!

​Alofa ia te oe,

​

Sister Wainwright

So... my companion experimented on my hair.

February 22, 2016

Week 1: Now Behold, A Marvelous Work is About to Come Forth Among the Children of Men

Well, It's snowed a few times, but for the most part the weather has been pretty nice. I'm so glad I didn't come out in the dead of winter...with any luck the weather will stay nice. I'm not a huge fan of the snow....it's pretty from a distance, but up close not so much. 

So the Hodgemans are pretty awesome. I've only had the one interview with President, but it was nice. He's really cool. He asked me how I felt about my call.................and I kinda ugly sobbed all over the place.... but he was totally cool about it. Apparently he and his wife felt the same way when they were called to Provo! That definitely made me feel better, and it was pretty awesome having that in common with my Mission President; the Lord really does work in funny and mysterious ways.

Speaking of which, meet my long lost Samoan sister! Sister Saili is the bomb dignity and best trainer ever. We are alike in so many ways it's kinda hilarious. We both love TV and dunking our Oreos in milk and know that the best stress reliever is ice cream after a long day. She is literally the coolest. Y'all know I'm not the mushy wushy lovey dovey fluffy wuffy type, but I love her. The Lord knew she was exactly who I needed to train with. I'm dreading transfers already! She's been out for almost 9 months now and is just such a great example to me. She is seriously just the coolest. She's from American Samoa, which is super cool. What is it about Polynesians and Utah exactly? 😂 they are everywhere! The YSA Tongan ward literally just got split into two wards....again, Utah is nuts. It's quite overwhelming.

The past few weeks have flown by and I have been so blessed. I've never felt the Lord's love more strongly in my life than I have since I took those first few steps into the MTC. Without a doubt His hands have been holding me up and pushing me along. So much has happened, so many things have been learned, and so many minds have been blown by the Gospel and all the beautiful promises it has to offer us, including my own. Several times. 

I don't even know where to begin or really what to say. It's hard to describe missionary work and the mighty change of heart that comes along with it. It's just awesome. Even when it's stressful and frustrating and awkward and even kinda boring sometimes, it's awesome. I can't wait for Lily to experience it, and Abby, and Jace, and Romney. Everyone needs to experience this marvelous work, and I'm confident that all of you will be even greater missionaries than I can ever hope to be! Just remember that this work isn't about you. It's about our Savior, and helping His lost sheep find their way back to Him. 

So far, the most stressful aspect of serving in Provo is probably the sheer number of stakes and wards we serve. Right now I'm in the YSA South Valley area, which covers two stakes in Provo and one stake in Spanish Fork. Our area goes all the way from Provo to Santaquin, which is somewhere south of Payson. We cover like 30 something wards, just the two of us. It's nuts. And it's kinda annoying when we're driving down the street and I point at 50 different chapels and my companion just laughs at me and says, "Nope. That's not one of ours!" 

Really makes me wanna flip a table, lemme tell ya. Utah is ridiculous. There's like 10 wards in each building. No Bueno. Not a fan. It's really confusing. I don't know how I'm supposed to find my way around since they all look the same. Anyway, so yeah, I'm all over the place. We live in Springville and actually have our own house! It's pretty sweet.

February 16, 2016

We received your wonderful missionary today, Tuesday, February 16, 2016.  We are eager to serve together in the Utah Provo Mission as we endeavor to invite all we come in contact with to “Come unto Christ.”  Thank you for preparing such a faithful missionary to enter the mission field.

You will receive a letter in the US mail letting you know of their assignment and trainer in the next couple of days.  You will also hear from your missionary by email every Monday - their preparation day.  They will look forward to an email from you every Monday as well.  Letters and Packages may be sent at any time the mission office address below. 

Attached is a picture we took with them at the Mission Home.  What a wonderful group of missionaries … thank you for sharing them with us and The Lord!

Sincerely yours,

  

John C. Hodgman and Vicki Hodgman

Mission President

Utah Provo Mission

85 North 600 East

Provo, UT  84606

2011794@ldschurch.org

February 10, 2016

Life is good. The MTC is pretty awesome. I thought I'd be a lot more stressed out, crazy, and homesick than I've been, but the Lord's keeping me too busy for all that. Please tell everyone that I'm sorry for not emailing and replying to all your emails. I type pretty fast, but there's so much going on that it's hard to type it all out. Emailing was probably the most stressful thing I've done since getting here. I've been learning so much and growing so quickly in the Gospel that I just want to tell you everything!

The main thing I've done here though is strengthened my relationship with our Savior. "MTC" stands for several different things: Missionary Training Center, Make The Change, and My Time with Christ. The change I've noticed in myself as I devote all my might, mind, heart, and strength to the Lord has been insane. It was like as soon as I stepped inside and put on that name tag it wasn't about me anymore. It was all about Him. I never realized our entire purpose as missionaries is to bring others unto Christ. I mean obviously, but I always thought the stress would be on the specific lessons. But it all comes back to Christ, every time. It doesn't matter what you're teaching (specifically, whether it's the Restoration, Plan of Salvation, Ordinances, etc); if it doesn't relate to Christ or give the investigator a desire to change and become like the Savior, you're teaching it wrong. You're just not fulfilling your role as a missionary.

My companion is Sister Gold. We're both going to Provo and she's pretty great. There are two other sisters in our dorm, Sister Beach and Sister McMaster, who are both going to Tuscon, Arizona. Sister McMaster's grandmother wrote the hymn "Teach Me to Walk in the Light", so there's a fun fact for you.

Starting this week each companionship was assigned two investigators to begin teaching, aside from the teachers we "roleplay" with in our classes. It's been easier than I thought it would be (*knocks on wood*). Focusing on the Savior really helps me. If I trust in Him, I know He'll give me the words to say (D&C 100:5-8) and the Spirit will fulfill it's role in touching the hearts of our investigators. Unfortunately, conversion is a two-way street. We may be feelin' it, but if our investigator isn't, there's not much we can do. We can invite them to read and pray until we're blue in the face, but if they don't have that desire to act in faith and seek to know by studying the Book of Mormon, we won't get anywhere with them. Conversion takes place after we've left the investigator, when they sincerely study the Book of Mormon and ask of their own free will if it is true. 

Anyway, that's really about it! We spend all day in the classroom, studying and discussing and practicing. My teachers are pretty awesome. The food has been...interesting. Not half as legendary as I was led to believe. It's not horrible, but it's not great. It's just meh. 

I'm not totally positive when my next P-Day will be, since I'm leaving the MTC on a Tuesday afternoon, but keep writing me! I get Dear Elder letters really quickly!

Keep the Faith,

Emi